Kevin BayComment

01 * 30 * 2018

Kevin BayComment
01 * 30 * 2018
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The street is not flat, as once suspected, and the smallest rock--even a grain of sand--casts a shadow.

Patience is my primary emotional focus this year. Encouraging more patience in the way I react.

For some time too I have put my capacity for compassionate and empathetic thought on the back burner in favor of intellectualized thought processes. The reasons why--a certain need to be recognized as intelligent--are no longer valid; anyways, the results of that sub-conscious switch never measured up to emotional connections.

What fears can be discarded forever? Perhaps the overbuilt, triple-reinforced internal boundary/self-flagellation system constructed to thwart a combination of evolutionary biology and psychological trauma. But . . . how did I build that to begin with? To dismantle such a thing will require a new focus on habits and reward.

Maybe, though, that's the best kind of story. Something complex. And I don't always have to know what I'm doing. I'm allowed to make mistakes, as long as the mistakes are the ones I want to make.